Where do I start?

Shall I start with my first meeting with the Wizard, or the story of my life?
Heck if I know right now. I'm woozy with fever and can barely think straight, let alone type.
Suffice it to say that right now I decided to share my life's adventures with everybody because I don't know how much longer I have to live on this earth. Not that I feel that I am dying anytime soon, mind you, but I am 57 years old, living in a stinking trailer park in Garden Grove, and I have an alcohol problem (to be quite honest).
Besides, everybody's got a story to tell, don't they? Who was it that said there are heroic tales to be found in even the most mundane person's lives?
The earth is a strange and wonderful place, and I am here to say that there is more to reality than you and I could ever believe, and that the human senses, however amazing, hardly show us the whole picture. But I got to peek behind the veil for a brief time, and you can make what you will of what I saw.
True or not, I hope at least it will be entertaining...